The past five months have been a roller coaster of emotions since my husband decided he didn’t want to be married anymore. In the beginning, there was a lot of sadness, anger, emptiness, loneliness and unanswered questions, along with self-doubt. I guess that is the typical cycle of emotions when your life is turned upside down by a sudden change like separation, divorce or death.
I’ve been told many things by many people; many people have shared advice. A lot of that advice has been useful, such as “he does not define you”, “it’s not anything you did or did not do, it’s something within him that has caused his unhappiness”. All great words of encouragement to me when I was feeling “less than” after the end of a fifteen year relationship.
The most comforting advice of all that was given to me was a piece of scripture from a wonderful lady at my church who has been through a similar situation. That scripture is Romans 5:3-5 (NIV), which I would like to share with you now…
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
For me, this verse first reminds me of God’s undying love for me. Love that was poured over me through the shedding of his blood on the cross and love that is within me through the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Secondly, I’m reminded that through all of the pain and suffering comes perseverance and character which leads to hope. And with every new day that I am blessed to wake up, I am hopeful for many things. Hopeful for a day when all suffering ends and I get to meet my Lord and Savior. Hopeful for a new start on life…a new career…a new chance to share my testimony and experiences to help someone else traveling this difficult road…hope that my children will not be scarred by divorce but know what love and marriage is supposed to be one day…hope that life goes on and my current circumstances do not define me…and hope that one day, the Lord will send me a wonderful loving partner, if that be His will. If that is not in His Devine plan, then I also have the hope and peace in knowing that I am loved by the Almighty Creator and there is no love greater than that. I will persevere…I will not be afraid to love others as I am commanded to do, just because I have been hurt…I will continue to grow as a person, a mom and a Christian…I will have hope that each day brings me a new beginning full of blessings, I just have to take the time to notice them and focus on all of the positive things, rather than dwell on the past.
Blessings to you and thank you for sharing in my journey of healing.